How to Prep (& Feel Confident) For Your 1st Therapy Session
You’ve done it! You deserve a round of applause for taking that first step into therapy, a step that many people in need unfortunately do not take. For that, you should be proud of yourself. I’m sure it wasn’t easy.
Now that you’re open and willing to accept help, your healing journey can begin. While you might still feel apprehensive, doubtful, or unsure, there’s no need to worry because your therapist should help guide you through. They’re there to answer any questions, offer a different perspective, and provide the tools and resources you may need going forward.
Step 1. Why It Helps to Prepare For Your First Session
Clarifying Goals: One of the key benefits of preparing is that it allows you to clarify what you hope to achieve in therapy. Whether it's managing stress, improving relationships, or working through a specific issue, coming to your first therapy session with a general sense of your goals can help guide the therapy process. During the first session, your therapist can help you drill further down into setting specific, realistic goals.
Reducing Anxiety: Many people feel anxious before their first therapy session, and that's perfectly normal. But thoughtful preparation can help alleviate some of that initial anxiety, making it easier to open up and healthily engage in the therapeutic process.
Effective Use of Time: When you come prepared, you ensure that you cover the topics and get the answers that matter most to you. This maximizes the effectiveness of your session and helps you address the issues that are most important.
Getting to Know Your Therapist: Preparing also serves as an opportunity to get to know your therapist better. Understanding their approach, background, and style can help you feel more comfortable and confident moving forward.
Expressing Needs: Effective therapy is a collaborative process, and preparing allows you to express any specific needs or preferences you have for the session. For example, you can communicate your preferred communication style or discuss the pace at which you'd like to explore certain topics.
Managing Expectations: It's important to have a clear understanding of the therapy process, what it can and cannot do, as well as the role of your therapist. This can prevent unrealistic or unhealthy expectations and ensure that you're on the same page with your therapist from the get-go.
Jumpstarting Healing and Growth: Ultimately, the act of preparing for therapy sets a positive trajectory for personal growth, self-awareness, and healing. It signifies your commitment to your own well-being and the journey of self-discovery that lies ahead in therapy.
Important Note: If your mental health symptoms significantly worsen before the first session with your therapist, please seek emergency help.
Step 2. Identify Your General Goal for Therapy
The initial move to get the most out of your therapy meetings is grasping what you wish to accomplish both in the short and long-term. This might seem simple, but articulating these goals can be a challenge. It's like setting off on a road trip without knowing where you're headed. You could end up anywhere.
While you might already have goals for your therapy, it’s important to note that your therapist may want to brainstorm these with you to set them collaboratively. As a professional therapist, I recommend coming to your first therapy session with ideas for your goals, and then working with your therapist to clarify details.
Remember, it’s okay not to have all the answers immediately - it can take time.
Picturing an Ideal Future
If you’re feeling totally lost when it comes to goal-setting, try visualizing an ideal future - one where these problems don't hold as much sway over your life. Picture yourself feeling calm before big presentations at work or finding joy in everyday activities again.
This visualization exercise isn’t just about dreaming; it helps give shape to tangible therapy goals. This also ties into knowing your ‘why’ for doing therapy in the first place.
Narrowing Down Specific Objectives
You may want more control over panic attacks during stressful situations.
You may desire to develop a healthier response to triggers.
You might aspire for better communication with loved ones without losing your temper easily.
You may want to manage your stress more effectively.
You may hope to feel more confident
Making Progress Measurable
Is there a specific behavior change that would signal progress?
Could attending social events without fear be one measurable goal if you’re dealing with social anxiety?
Or would starting a morning journaling habit and committing to it feel therapeutic?
Finding small yet significant indicators can help track growth and keep your motivation high. It's not just about fixing ‘problems’, but also discovering more about yourself and what you truly want from life.
Step 3. Choose the Right Therapist
Finding a therapist who resonates with you is like finding your favorite coffee shop - it's not just about the quality of the beans, but also about how they make you feel. The right fit can brew up real change in your life.
You'll want to consider their specialty first and foremost. Just as a cardiologist won't be much help for a broken leg, therapists specialize in different areas too. Some excel at helping folks manage anxiety or depression while others may focus on grief counseling or trauma recovery. Look into their backgrounds and specialties to get an idea if they might be right for you.
For example, I specialize in helping adults with life transitions, anxiety, trauma, relationship issues, low self-esteem, and grief. I’m Laura Jasen, a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in California and Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Florida, meaning I serve residents of California and Florida. I also only offer sessions online. Like most other therapists, I offer free consultation calls for you to ask all of your questions and to make sure we’re a good fit.
But what makes therapists unique? Mainly their approach and personality. Each therapist brings their own blend of training, philosophy, methods (like narrative therapy), and yes – personality – to sessions.
If someone leans towards more structured approaches that involve homework assignments between sessions, that’s something to keep in mind if you’re looking for that or, conversely, not a structured approach.
A therapist might only offer online sessions (like myself), only in-person sessions, or both. I’d recommend deciding the type of session you want before starting your therapist search.
A bubbly extroverted therapist could feel refreshing… or overwhelming depending on your preference.
Your feelings matter here; trust them when deciding whether this person feels 'right' for you.
To sum it all up: Think about what matters most to you in a therapist - specialty area, therapeutic approach, personality type - and seek out those characteristics while researching therapists.
Finding the right therapist can seem overwhelming, but remember - you're in control. Take your time and pay attention to yourself in the process. And just like finding that perfect coffee shop, once you find them - it’s all worth it.
If you’re in need of a licensed therapist who genuinely cares and a resident of California or Florida, book a free no-commitment consultation call with me, Laura Jasen, LPCC, LMHC today!
Step 4. Prepare Mentally for Your First Session
Mindset preparation is a crucial step before starting therapy that I recommend not skipping over. This involves setting your expectations, navigating nerves, embracing an open mindset, and much more. To kickstart your therapy journey, it’s best to come to your first session feeling as comfortable and confident in the process as possible.
Setting Expectations
Your first therapy session may not be similar to what you’ve seen in the media or how your friends or family describe it. Realize that each therapeutic experience is singular and customized to one's specific requirements. There’s no one ‘right’ or ‘correct’ way of doing therapy. Progress takes time, so don't expect instant solutions. Seeing success from therapy requires patience. Also, each therapist operates differently. That means it’s important to understand how your chosen therapist expects payment, scheduling, communication, and respecting boundaries. Learning all of these beforehand will help you not feel caught off-guard if issues come up.
Dealing With Nerves
Feeling nervous about your first session? That's totally normal. Just like the butterflies in your stomach before a big presentation or job interview. But just as you wouldn't cancel those because of nerves, don't let anxiety stop you from seeking help either. Remember: courage isn’t the absence of fear, it’s facing something despite being afraid. As an experienced therapist, I’ve helped many clients navigate life-altering anxiety and I believe they wouldn’t be where they are now if they had never taken that first step of seeking help.
If your nerves are never-ending before this first session, it may help to reach out to a close friend or family member and share your feelings with them. They can provide support, help you think through things clearly, and boost your confidence.
An Open Mindset Is Key
To get the most out of therapy, do your best to approach it with an open mind and heart - think of yourself as a traveler exploring new lands rather than someone going through a medical procedure. Be prepared to discuss topics outside your comfort zone - after all, growth mostly happens when we’re uncomfortable. A positive attitude from the very beginning can make all the difference in successful treatment outcomes.
Expert Tips To Help You Prepare:
Prioritize self-care: Get a good night's sleep before your session and try to eat something nutritious. Throughout the session you might experience a range of emotions that leave you feeling exhausted. It’s a good idea to have a relaxing experience after a session.
Jot down thoughts: Make notes about what you'd like to discuss during the session. This can help guide the conversation and ensure nothing important gets missed. But don’t worry about always having something to say or saying the ‘right’ things. Sometimes there may be pauses in conversation, and that’s totally normal.
Breathe deeply: Simple breathing exercises beforehand can reduce anxiety levels and help calm your thoughts. Try inhaling for four seconds, holding for four, then exhaling for six.
Be kind to yourself: Seeking help in the first place can be hard enough. Making this process harder on yourself by speaking negatively to yourself isn’t a good way to kickstart therapy. Try to speak to yourself from a place of kindness, while allowing yourself the grace to begin an imperfect healing journey.
Be honest: You know yourself the best. Try to remember that your therapist isn’t there to judge or belittle you, so it only serves you to be as honest with both yourself and your therapist as possible.
Step 5. Prepare in Other Ways Before Your Session
Your therapy session is just like any other important appointment, so it's essential to prepare certain things ahead of time to ensure the session goes off without a hitch. The following steps will help get you ready for your first therapy meeting.
Scheduling Your Session
Be sure to set aside a time that allows for enough space and ease. Don’t pick a time that’d make you feel hurried due to other obligations. You don't want to rush into or out of the session because of other commitments. If it’s an online session, I’d recommend making sure you give at least 20 minutes before and after your sessions to prepare and decompress, respectively. Some sessions may feel light, while others may feel heavy. You’ll want to be kind to yourself by allowing for space to process any difficult emotions that might come up during the session. If your session is in-person, then I still recommend giving plenty of time beforehand and afterwards, not including the drive back and forth. While driving, your mind is solely focused on that so it’s important to allow space to prepare and process before and after driving.
Reach Out To Professionals For Help
Last but not least, don't shy away from seeking professional help—a grief counselor can give valuable guidance during this transition phase. Especially if you don’t have a strong support system or sense of community, talking to a therapist can provide positive human connection that might be lacking in your life. However, they’re mainly there to help guide you through grief, including feelings of extreme sadness, hopelessness, and listlessness.
Arranging Payment
Paying for therapy sessions varies based on different factors like insurance coverage and therapist rates. Prioritize figuring this out before the initial meeting. If your therapist requires payment upfront, be sure to follow their requirements so your first session goes ahead as planned.
Step 6. Prepare For During the Therapy Session
A first therapy session is like hopping off a diving board into self-discovery, but it's not always smooth sailing. That's ok. It’s your space to express your thoughts and feelings that might’ve been bottled up for a while.
Your therapist will be there as an experienced guide. While every therapist has their own approach and style for how to spend sessions, it can be helpful to know the general gist of what to expect in your first session. To start off, whether your session is online or in-person, it’s crucial to dress comfortably. No one will judge you for how you look - all that matters is you feel comfortable in what you’re wearing.
Preparing For Online Sessions
As a therapist only offering online sessions, this is what I recommend for all of my clients. The space around you during the session should feel secure, comfortable, and be without distractions or interruptions. Whether that means asking family members to not disturb you or placing items you love all around you, do what is necessary for you to feel good before your session. Also consider whether you’d prefer strong or softer lighting, and even the smells around you - maybe light a candle or burn some incense beforehand.
Preparing For In-Person Sessions
To prepare for an in-person session, be sure to give enough time for unexpected events or bad traffic. Also if you’re Covid-conscious, feel free to ask your therapist beforehand if they’re practicing any safety measures or precautions. If it’d make you feel more comfortable, remember to bring a mask for you to wear during your session. It might also be helpful to go to the bathroom beforehand, bring a journal and pencil to take notes or bring your questions, and make a plan for getting home safely just in case a session brings up difficult emotions that make it hard to drive.
The Opening of Your Session
Most therapy sessions start with some small talk - think of it as the warm-up before the workout. This helps you feel more comfortable and set the stage for more serious discussions later on.
You don’t need to dive right in; take your time until you feel truly comfortable and at ease sharing deeper emotions and thoughts. There’s no pressure to say anything you don’t want to say. If your therapist makes you feel uncomfortable or pressured at any point, be sure to politely let them know so they can take your feedback and better customize their approach.
Talking About What Matters To You
Remember this: no topic is off-limits during therapy. Feel free to discuss anything that weighs heavy on your mind - whether it's about work anxiety, relationship troubles, imposter syndrome, or feelings of grief – every little bit matters because YOU matter. This is where having written down your most important questions earlier on helps.
Remember to discuss the treatment plan your therapist recommends so that you can decide if it’s right for you and know what to expect going forward.
Diving Deeper With Guided Questions
To aid in exploration, therapists often use guided questions which serve as signposts along your emotional expedition. Questions like: "How did that make you feel?" and "Can you tell me more about...?". These aren't just idle curiosities; they're stepping stones leading towards gaining a deeper understanding.
Nearing The End Of Your Session
In the closing stages of each meeting, therapists generally summarize the key points discussed (think of them as post-session cliff notes.). They also typically ask about your thoughts on the session, and what you'd like to focus on next time.
Remember: therapy is a process. Some sessions may feel productive while others might not - that's perfectly normal. What’s important is sticking with it and knowing every step forward counts.
If, at the end of this first session, you feel mismatched, misaligned, or misunderstood, don’t be afraid to seek out another therapist. Sometimes our initial impressions turn out to be wrong, and that’s ok. You don’t want to stay with a therapist you don’t like and you shouldn’t.
Step 7. Prepare For After the Therapy Session
When you've completed a therapy session, it's like finishing a workout for your mind. After the session, be sure to take enough time to take a break, reflect, and make your own judgments about the session. I recommend doing this right after each session because the experience is freshest at that time. It’s normal to forget all of the details of sessions when you start going about your regular day-to-day activities.
Caring for Yourself Post-Session
A crucial part of post-session care is self-love. Don't forget to treat yourself gently after each appointment. Maybe enjoy a calming cup of tea, go on an easy walk outside, or call a close friend or family member.
Listening to soothing music or meditations, taking naps if needed, or even journaling about the experience can also be beneficial practices that aid in processing what was discussed.
Taking Time To Reflect
Ponder over what you talked about with your therapist. Some topics might need more thinking while others may stir up emotions - both are normal parts of therapy.
If certain thoughts make you uncomfortable but keep popping up again and again, jot them down. This could be something worth discussing at your next meeting. Your therapist will appreciate this active engagement from you as well – remember that they're there to help guide through these mental hurdles.
In case any questions arise regarding what happened during the session or even future appointments, feel free to talk about them too.
Maintaining Consistency Is Key
You wouldn’t stop going to the gym after one workout expecting miracles, right? Same goes for therapy sessions.
The most effective way is consistency: sticking with regular meetings despite sometimes not seeing immediate changes. Studies have shown that continued therapy is key to long-term mental health improvement.
The journey towards a healthier mind isn't easy, but it's one worth taking.
Step 8. Prepare to Continue Therapy
To make therapy work long-term, start by setting aside regular times for sessions. Just as you'd pencil in dinner with friends or a yoga class, schedule your therapy appointments into your calendar. Whether it’s weekly, biweekly, or once a month, regularly seeing your therapist is much better than seeing them every once in a while. If you’re committing to therapy, then I recommend you genuinely commit to it by setting appointments at the same time of the day at whichever frequency works best.
Coping with Challenges Along the Way
No matter how committed you are to therapy, there will be challenges - emotional roller coasters and revelations that shake up our perceptions are all part of the therapeutic process.
The key here is resilience: allow yourself space to feel difficult emotions without judgment and without negative self-talk. You’re not alone in this journey - your therapist will help guide you through the difficulties. And remember - every step, no matter how small, is progress.
Adapting Therapy to Suit Your Changing Needs
Be conscious that your treatment requirements may shift with time. As you grow and evolve, so might the focus of your sessions. It's perfectly normal to switch therapists or approaches if needed - this doesn't mean failure but rather adapting to serve your best interests. Check-in every so often with your therapist about your treatment plan to make sure you both agree you’re on the right path.
Your first therapy session? It's all about exploration! Getting to know your therapist, setting healthy expectations, and preparing for the sessions to come. But taking that first step is a mountain you’ve successfully climbed! At this point, you’re ready for therapy and all the benefits that come with it. You can do this - I believe in you!
If you’re looking for therapy for trauma, anxiety, depression or more, contact me to learn about how I can help you reach your therapy goals.
Written by: Laura Jasen, LMHC, LPCC
