Understanding Perfectionism
The idea of perfect is not a true reality. There is no such thing as the perfect anything. It’s all in the eye of the beholder. What works for you won’t be the “perfect” thing for someone else.
Striving for progress is always better than striving for perfection. Unfortunately, for some, that’s not a fully controllable concept. Living with perfectionism may seem like a motivator at times, but it can become harmful to your well-being.
What is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is a condition where there’s an urge to meet extremely high standards and be the best possible version at all times, all while being overly critical of yourself. It is often characterized by unrealistic expectations and frequent dissatisfaction.
Perfectionism often results in harmful outcomes. Those who deal with it regularly have a greater tendency to be over-stressed and less productive in all reality.
What Causes Perfectionism?
The onset of perfectionism can be caused by genetic, environmental, social, and psychological factors, to name a few.
Genetic: Different personality traits can be inherited from your family members, including the need for perfection.
Environmental: Growing up in a household where success was highly valued, high expectations were set, and praise was given for perfection can be a contributing factor.
Social: Today’s society, whether you agree with it or not, does place a certain value on achievement. Social media promotes unrealistic standards. Regular media is influential, with success being important. Social groups and peers also contribute to a desire to have perfectionistic tendencies.
Psychological: Low self-esteem or a fear of failure can contribute to perfectionism. Being overly critical of yourself or valuing approval from others to give you a sense of achievement can also lead to these tendencies.
Types of Perfectionism
Perfectionism can present in different ways depending on underlying causes and presentation of symptoms.
A self-oriented type of perfectionism occurs when you’re the driver of your tendencies. A socially prescribed type of perfectionism occurs when there’s a perceived need to be perfect by social norms or expectations.
Finally, there’s an other-oriented type of perfectionism in which you hold others to pretty high standards. While this form of perfectionism is projected onto others, it’s still a form of perfectionism that drives you to have those views.
Signs of Perfectionism
Maybe you’re not sure if what you’re dealing with is considered perfectionism. Here are some signs to help.
Are you a high achiever? Aiming high is never a bad thing, but a common symptom of perfectionism is having high goals and never being happy or satisfied with the outcome.
Are you overly critical? Along with those high goals, it’s common to be highly critical of yourself and consider anything “less than” a failure.
Are you a procrastinator? While it may sound contradictory, perfectionists tend to be major procrastinators. The fear of failure often interferes with initiating a project and each step along the way.
Do you have low self-esteem? If you get emotional or upset at the status of your goal achievement or perceived lack thereof, it could stem from some level of perfectionism.
Fear of failure, unrealistic standards, and defensiveness are also symptoms.
Scenarios Where Perfectionism Arises
Perfectionism knows no bounds and truly has no limits for manifesting. It can show up in your day-to-day life, personal life, at home during hobbies, or even while trying to enjoy a relaxing vacation.
School is a common place for these tendencies to start since there’s a lot of pressure to achieve good grades and excel in extracurricular/athletic performance. Work is a similar experience, where putting in hefty work and facing hard deadlines can drive you to demand more out of yourself.
On a personal level, you may demonstrate perfectionistic tendencies when establishing and fulfilling your routines. You may also work exceptionally hard at a hobby or interest and want high-level outcomes.
Overcoming Perfectionism
Dealing with perfectionism for a long time can snowball into greater severity of mental health issues. Knowing what the root cause is and what your specific triggers are can help you overcome your tendencies.
Are you interested in exploring your tendencies? Let us help you explore these thoughts and ideas. Contact us today for a free 15 minute consultation for anxiety therapy.
